Alcoholics Anonymous has helped millions of people. I want to be clear about that upfront. But AA wasn’t built for me. And if you’re reading this, it probably wasn’t built for you either.
Not because you’re too good for it. Not because you don’t have a problem worth addressing. But because the model assumes a few things that don’t fit a specific type of person. It assumes you’ve hit a wall. It assumes you need a group to hold you accountable because you can’t do it yourself. It assumes the word alcoholic is one you’re ready to claim. And it assumes the path forward looks the same for everyone. For a lot of working men and women, none of those things are true.
Why doesn’t AA work for a lot of working men and women?
AA was designed around crisis intervention. You show up broken and the program helps rebuild you. That’s genuinely powerful for the people it’s designed for. But there’s a large group of people it doesn’t reach. People who are functioning. People who have great careers, strong families, and nobody around them who would point a finger. People who’ve been quietly thinking about their relationship with alcohol for years but haven’t lost anything yet.
These people don’t see themselves in AA’s model. They don’t want to stand up and say “I’m an alcoholic” because they’re not sure that’s accurate. They don’t want a sponsor. They don’t want a 12-step program. They don’t want their colleagues or clients to know they’re attending meetings. So they do nothing. They keep drinking. They keep waiting for a reason dramatic enough to justify stopping. That waiting is the problem.
What did you do instead of AA?
I’m not in recovery. I’ve never been to a meeting. I didn’t call a hotline or check into a facility. I spent six years mentally preparing to retire from alcohol. Quietly. Privately. On my own terms.
I imagined what mornings without hangovers would feel like. I imagined being sharper at work. I imagined what my marriage and my relationship with my kids could look like without alcohol in the middle of it. By the time April 16, 2025 came, the decision was already made. I wasn’t fighting cravings through the first 30 days. No program. No label.
How is this different from AA?
AA works backward from crisis. You hit bottom, you admit powerlessness, you rebuild. Prepared Sobriety works forward from intention. You recognize the compounding costs before anything breaks. You build a mental picture of the life you want. You pick a date. You retire. It’s not better than AA. It’s different. It’s for a different person at a different stage. Here’s how the two approaches compare side by side:
| Dimension | Alcoholics Anonymous | Prepared Sobriety |
|---|---|---|
| Starting point | Crisis or rock bottom | Intention, before anything breaks |
| Requires the “alcoholic” label | Yes | No |
| Format | Group meetings, sponsor, 12 steps | Private, self-directed preparation with optional coaching |
| Privacy | Public accountability in a group | Fully private decision |
| Underlying approach | Works backward from crisis | Works forward from intention |
| Best suited for | People in active crisis | Working men and women still performing well |
If you’re in active crisis, I’m not the right fit. If you drink every day and feel shaky, sweaty or sick when you go without, talk to a doctor before you stop. But if you’re someone who’s been privately thinking about this for months or years, who doesn’t have a rock bottom story, who wants a thoughtful exit strategy instead of a dramatic intervention, this was built for you.
What does this approach actually look like in practice?
The Prepared Sobriety framework has five stages. Visualization. Identity Drift. Compounding Friction. Decision Point. Retirement. Most people reading this post are somewhere in stages one through three. They’ve been imagining a different life. They’re starting to notice the inconsistencies. The costs are becoming harder to ignore.
They don’t need a program. They need a framework and someone who’s been exactly where they are. That’s what I offer. You don’t need AA to retire from alcohol. You don’t need a rock bottom. You don’t need a label. You need a decision, a date and a plan.
Colin Casillas founded Prepared Sobriety to help men and women in every line of work retire from alcohol on their own terms. He retired on April 16, 2025, after 30 years of regular drinking. Four months later his LDL was down 33% and he’d lost 14 lbs. Within ten months he was off two medications. You can work with Colin one-on-one or on your own time.
Frequently asked questions
Is there a private alternative to AA for working men and women?
Yes. Prepared Sobriety is a five-stage mental preparation framework built for men and women in every line of work who want to retire from alcohol without meetings, sponsors, or labels. It’s a fully private, self-directed decision, not group accountability, and works forward from intention rather than backward from crisis.
Do you have to call yourself an alcoholic to stop drinking?
No. Many people who stop drinking never identify as alcoholics. The alcoholic label keeps a lot of working men and women from acting because they don’t see themselves in it. You don’t need a label to make a decision to retire from alcohol.
Can you stop drinking without a program?
Yes. Colin Casillas retired from alcohol on April 16, 2025 after six years of mental preparation without a program, sponsor, or support group. The key was preparation over time, a specific date, and a private decision made before anything broke.
Who is AA not designed for?
AA was built around crisis intervention and public accountability. It’s less suited for working men and women who are still performing well, haven’t experienced a visible rock bottom, value privacy, and don’t identify with the alcoholic label. These people need a different framework, not a different meeting.
What is the Prepared Sobriety Framework?
The Prepared Sobriety Framework is a five-stage model describing how people mentally prepare to retire from alcohol: Visualization, Identity Drift, Compounding Friction, Decision Point, and Retirement. Most people move through the first three stages for years before making a decision.
Is it possible to retire from alcohol without willpower?
Yes. Willpower-based approaches fail because they treat retirement from alcohol as a daily battle. The Prepared Sobriety approach builds toward a decision over months or years so that when the date arrives, the mind is already there. The decision feels inevitable rather than forced.
