This is for men and women in every line of work who aren’t sure yet whether they want to stop drinking, and for people who’ve decided and want the holidays to go well.
I drank regularly for 30 years. My blood pressure was 168/104, and that was on medication. I retired from alcohol on April 16, 2025. By February 2026 it was 120/77 with no medication.
I spent about six years preparing before that. I started asking myself the question in 2019, and I kept drinking through every holiday season until I retired.
We hosted a Christmas Eve holiday party in 2019. I drank Captain Morgan and Diet Coke nonstop. I was hungover all of Christmas Day and into the night. It was a rough Christmas.
From Thanksgiving to New Year’s, the calendar fills up with rooms built around a drink. Here’s how to get through them, whatever you decide about January.
How do you handle client dinners and the office holiday party?
Order first, before anyone asks. Tell the server when you sit down. “Sparkling water with lime for me all night.” Pick the drink before you leave the house so you’re not deciding at the bar.
Hold your own glass from the start. In a small lab bar study, people copied their drinking partner’s sips less when they were holding a different kind of drink.
Set a leave time before you go. Tell one person what it is.
These days I’m good at a party for about two hours. Two hours of good, solid conversation, and then I’m ready to go. I remember everything, and I drive myself home.
Rules made at home rarely survive a work calendar. Mine didn’t. Just weekends. Just one night during the week. Then I’d be traveling and out with customers four nights running, and did the weekend still count? December stacks those nights closer together.
I wrote separately about what changed for me at work events after I retired, including a World Cup watch party where I held a Diet Coke and nobody asked why. For the confidence side of this, read How I Became Better at Work Social Events After I Retired from Alcohol.
What do you say when someone hands you a drink or asks why you’re not drinking?
Say one short sentence, then change the subject. “I don’t drink.” “I’m good with this.” “No thanks, I’m off it.” None of them need a reason attached.
In my second month, I went to a work dinner holding a club soda. I was bracing for the question I’d rehearsed an answer to. Nobody asked. Somebody noticed the glass, said “oh, not drinking tonight,” and went back to the conversation.
People expect the table to notice more than it does. In a set of 1998 studies, people overestimated how much others could read what they were feeling.
If someone hands you a drink, take it and set it down, or say “Appreciate it. I’m set.” If you’re not sure yet what you want long term, you don’t need a bigger answer. “Not tonight” is true, and it’s enough.
More on the exact words in How to Tell People You’ve Retired From Alcohol.
How do you handle family gatherings where drinking is the tradition?
Bring your own drink, keep your glass full, and have one line ready for the relative who pushes. Family can be harder than work. They’ve known you longer, and they remember how you used to drink.
Rehearse it once in the car on the way there. You walk in. Here’s who’s there. Here’s what someone says. Here’s what you say back.
Decide ahead which gatherings you’ll go to and how long you’ll stay at each one. You can skip one. You can leave after dinner.
You also don’t have to tell anyone at the table what you’re thinking about. I never told my wife I was thinking about stopping. Moderation works for her. It didn’t work for me. I told her after the surgery that I was likely done drinking.
My first Thanksgiving after I retired from alcohol was in November 2025.
We started the day at a turkey trot, part walk and part run. I cooked most of the day and watched football. I drank water and Diet Coke. Nobody said anything. It was my family, and it was a good day.
Should you wait until January or start now?
Either can work. The point is to choose on purpose, so “after the holidays” doesn’t turn into the plan by default.
You don’t need a date to make this season go better. You can plan every event and still not know what you want in January. That’s normal. Most people think about this for a long time before they decide. I did for about six years.
If you already know, a date helps because it’s concrete. It doesn’t have to be January 1. Mine was set by a surgery in April 2025. I was told to stop drinking two weeks before it. By then I was about 80 percent decided, and the surgery made it 100 percent. The Decision Point stage page covers picking a real date and the small circle of people you tell.
What to weigh
Starting now. You face the hardest stretch of the year first, with every event planned ahead. Each party becomes practice. You also skip the December habit of drinking more because January is coming. The cost is more events, more questions and less time to get used to it before the busiest weeks.
Waiting for January. The first weeks come with fewer parties and fewer people pouring for you. January is also when a lot of people take a break, so not drinking stands out less. The cost is that “after the holidays” can roll into “after this deal” and then the next thing. And a month-long rule that ends on a set day leaves the old habits waiting when it’s over. I wrote about that in Sober October Answers the Wrong Question.
Whichever you pick, plan the holiday events anyway. A plan for the office party helps either way.
How do you plan the hard moments ahead of time?
Write down the three moments most likely to test you this season, and your exact move for each. Use an “if this happens, then I’ll do that” line. A 2006 review pulled together 94 tests of plans written this way and found a medium to large effect on reaching goals.
A few examples.
If the server comes around with the wine, then I say “Sparkling water for me all night.”
If a relative asks why I’m not drinking, then I say “I’m good with this” and ask about their trip.
If the bar gets louder and the good conversations are done, then I find the host, say thanks and head out.
You can write your plan here in about 60 seconds. Three lines, and it stays on your device.
The next morning, write down how it went and how you feel. That record is useful when you sit down to decide about January.
How do you handle New Year’s Eve and holiday travel?
Pick your midnight drink before you leave, and go home once you’ve had the moment you came for. Sparkling water in a flute works for the toast.
Travel needs its own plan. Airport bars, hotel bars and long days with family all come with their own default order. Decide yours before you board, and repeat it.
Plan New Year’s Day too. Mondays used to come with fog for me. Now they don’t. January 1 can be a clear morning instead of one you spend getting back to zero.
New Year’s Eve hasn’t been a big night for us since we became parents. On my first one after I retired from alcohol, we were in bed well before midnight. It was no big deal.
Who this fits, and who it doesn’t
This is for people who are functioning, thinking about their drinking and want this season to go well. If you’re still sorting out where you are, the Grey Area Drinking Test takes about 90 seconds, and your answers stay in your tab.
If you drink heavily every day, stopping suddenly can be dangerous. Talk to a medical doctor before you stop.
Coaching is not medical care or addiction treatment.
Next step
The holidays go better when the hard moments are decided before you walk in. One order, one sentence and one leave time cover most nights.
I work one-on-one with people on exactly this, from where they are today to retired from alcohol, for their own reasons. You can see how coaching and Reserve work.
Open to a complimentary, confidential call?
Colin Casillas founded Prepared Sobriety to help men and women in every line of work retire from alcohol on their own terms. He retired on April 16, 2025, after 30 years of regular drinking. Four months later his LDL was down 33%, from 212 to 142. Within ten months he was off two medications, and he’s 23 lbs lighter.
Sources. Gollwitzer and Sheeran (2006), “Implementation intentions and goal achievement,” Advances in Experimental Social Psychology 38, 69-119. Gilovich, Savitsky and Medvec (1998), “The illusion of transparency,” Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 75(2), 332-346. Larsen, Engels, Souren, Granic and Overbeek (2010), “Peer influence in a micro-perspective,” Addictive Behaviors 35(1), 49-52. These studies cover behavior in general or small lab samples, not holiday drinking specifically.
