Nobody plans an intervention for someone who’s still performing. That’s the problem. People who are good at their jobs don’t get the external pressure that forces most people to face a drinking problem, because they’re still performing. The damage stays invisible until you go looking for it. Here’s the five-stage framework I moved through over six years, and what to look for in each one.
What is the first sign you’re heading toward retiring from alcohol?
It starts in your imagination, long before anything changes. I’d catch myself thinking about what life looked like before drinking was part of it. Memories from childhood. Who I was back then, someone I hadn’t thought about in years. I wasn’t chasing that life. My mind was showing it to me. Still drinking the same amount the whole time. Nothing external had changed yet. This is Stage 1, Visualization, and it can run for years without anyone knowing, including you.
Why do capable people stay stuck for so long once they know something’s wrong?
Because you can still function. That’s the trap. Signals show up. Weight gain. Inflammation. My wife making fun of my supplements. You explain every one of them away. I knew alcohol was the problem. I wasn’t ready to admit that stopping was the fix. So I spent over $7,000 on CoolSculpting and took 25 supplements a day for four to five months, trying to work around it. It felt pointless even while I was doing it. This is Stage 2, Identity Drift. For a lot of people it can last years, because you’re still good enough at your job to hide from it.
What does the cost actually look like once it becomes undeniable?
For me it showed up hardest at work. Not hungover in the obvious sense. Just dulled. Slower to think and slower to respond.
I estimated I was running 25 percent below my own baseline on Mondays. Every week, for years.
That’s Stage 3, Compounding Friction. It’s financial, physical and relational at the same time.
What actually makes someone decide to stop, if it’s not a crisis?
Two things move people. One is the cost of staying becoming impossible to ignore. The other is fear of losing something you built. For me it was my family. Not one fight or one moment. Just a growing, quiet certainty that if I kept going, I was risking what I cared about most. Then surgery went on the calendar for April 2025, and I was told to stop drinking two weeks before it. That’s Stage 4, Decision Point. You stop debating and pick a date.
Why does setting an actual date matter so much?
Because you keep commitments. A date turns a private decision into a promise to yourself. Mine was April 16, 2025. I’d been preparing since 2019, so when the date showed up, I was ready for it. Telling people, even tentatively, raises the stakes further.
What actually changes after you retire from alcohol?
Faster than I expected. My mood was better within two weeks. I was sharper within a month or two. Four months in, my LDL was down 33%. The biggest change wasn’t on a lab report, though. It was being fully in the conversation, at dinner, at home and at work. That’s Stage 5, Retirement. It isn’t a finish line.
If you see yourself in any of these stages, there are two ways to work with me. Signature is one-on-one coaching with me. Reserve is my private membership, at your own pace.
Colin Casillas founded Prepared Sobriety to help men and women in every line of work retire from alcohol on their own terms. He retired on April 16, 2025, after 30 years of regular drinking. Four months later his LDL was down 33% and he’d lost 14 lbs. Within ten months he was off two medications. You can work with Colin one-on-one or on your own time.
Frequently asked questions
What is the Prepared Sobriety Framework?
It’s a five-stage model describing how people move from drinking normally to retiring from alcohol. The stages are Visualization, Identity Drift, Compounding Friction, Decision Point, and Retirement. Most people move through all five before they stop, often over years, without a crisis or a program forcing the change.
How long does it take to decide to stop drinking?
There’s no fixed timeline. Some people move through the five mental stages in a matter of months, others over several years. What matters isn’t speed but movement through each stage. Colin Casillas spent six years in this process before his last drink on April 15, 2025, retiring the next day, but where you are in the stages matters more than how long it takes you to get through them.
Do you need to hit rock bottom to stop drinking?
No. Capable people rarely hit a traditional rock bottom because they’re still functioning at work and in relationships. Instead, the decision comes from compounding friction, quiet costs across health, performance, and relationships that eventually outweigh the benefit of continuing to drink.
What is Identity Drift in the context of retiring from alcohol?
Identity Drift is the second stage of the Prepared Sobriety Framework. It describes the period when someone senses something is wrong but rationalizes it away, often by trying to fix symptoms like weight gain or fatigue without addressing alcohol itself.
Why do capable people struggle to admit they have a drinking problem?
Because they can still perform. Capable people often maintain enough external success that the usual warning signs, job loss, visible decline, never appear. The cost shows up privately instead, in energy, focus, and relationships, which makes denial easier to sustain for years.
What actually makes someone who’s doing well decide to stop drinking?
Almost never a single crisis. It’s usually one of two things finally outweighing the pull of staying the same: the compounding cost becoming impossible to ignore, or a real fear of losing something you’ve built, a marriage, a family, a reputation. Once either one wins out, the decision stops being a debate and becomes a date.
